Sunday, December 31, 2017

My version : If I should have a daughter

You know it is the last day of 2017.And, it is one of those chilly winter mornings and I just had a warm cup of self-made ginger tea. It just makes me so happy! And before you grow all envious thinking about it, let me tell you that I just hate winters. That chill from the spine, ah, no!I just can’t bear it all.
Anyways, returning to the fact that today is the last day of 2017 and I thought no better time to reflect upon the past year and pass on my list of experiences to somebody who would be at a similar point some years down the lane. And if you’re in all awe imagining the efforts I took for you ,let me tell you that I love the feeling of nostalgia. So let us consider that I’m being selfish too when I write this to you.
The year, though disappointing, was one of the most important years for me.If you’ve been of my type-craving for new experiences, then this was it! In simple words, if you’d delete this year from my life, you’d have seen me into a completely different person. And I have to admit it, that Pooja would’ve not been this good! ;)
If you’re patient enough to read, read and then only digest what you feel like because the most important lessons come from falling down and getting up stronger. I don’t want you to live your life being all cautious. Make your own set of mistakes and learn from them.

  •  If you know what you want, fight for it. Be it fighting with your friends, your fate or me. It goes this way. When there’s a competition there’s always one losing party and one winning. So even in this case, there has to be one of each. In between, while you’re fighting to get what you want, you’ll meet some, who’d be better than you, who’d be getting the things you’ve always wanted faster than you and some who’d be laughing at the insane efforts you’re putting through but just accept the fact, appreciate ,ignore and continue. I’m in such a phase right now and I cannot tell you that it’d always work, but, as I said we’re supposed to make our own mistakes and learn.
  • There will come some people in life you’d feel are your life.They may be the best of your friends but believe me, the ones worth staying will. Do not go beyond your emotional capability to make them stay because it’ll only lead to disappointment. And do not let any person destroy the original you. There’s no harm in improving and developing yourself. But you need to understand the difference between improving and succumbing.
  •  It is sometimes okay to let go of your ego. Even if you know that it was just 10% that was your mistake. That will just show that you’re mature enough to forgive somebody sometimes. But don’t overdo it. By now you’d have read those quotes asking you to forgive people who’re not even sorry. That’s a bullshit. Don’t.
  • You’ll come across easy shortcuts. If you’re beautiful enough, you’ll hear people tell you that there’s no need to struggle so much to get a good life and that you should just intend to marry somebody rich enough to fulfill your wishes. That’s a bullshit.There’s no greater joy than buying those black stilettoes using your own money! You’ll see some your friends choosing the short-cut. However, remember that the probabilities of losing yourself exploring the shortcuts are more than navigating through the trusted Google (here, me ;)) sources way.
  •  My mom has been consoling me saying that things come to you at the correct time. Well, to admit, I’ve started believing it. But I’m also the one who doesn’t want to completely believe it and hence I prefer to keep on trying because I don’t want to miss out not trying. Same applies to you! If you lose, better losing knowing that you tried rather than in the guilt of not trying at all.
  • Some people will tell you how weird you are, if you’re one. You know, I’ve spent days wondering if I really am. But then I believe that the real word in ‘different’. I belong to the category of people who want some things badly enough to get them at the earliest but also one who’d take time to digest some other. You know the best way to shut the morons? Bow down and say a sarcastic ‘Thank you!’. That really works!

I’m done with lecturing you. Rest, live for your life, as I said before, make your own set of mistakes and evolve into a stronger and a better being.

Saturday, November 18, 2017

Upgraded Self.

Oh man! You’ve earned the privilege of being tagged as the best moment of 2017.It’s not very frequent that I tag my failures as the best moments, but you own this one!

I remember it was 7th of November and I was just back from the office after a long hectic day, opening up the parcels-The Defining Decade book and the cute pink frock for a bachelorette. It was then, whilst I was in the pink frock, that I noticed a mail pop-up on my phone that read- Invited for an Interview with one of the premier B-School.And I remember feeling numb for a few moments.I was with my flatmates then and looking at my reaction, a friend took the phone from my hand and read the entire message.That was unexpected.I wasn’t having a great score but then I have a lot to thank all my school teachers and parents for developing an all-rounder personality and also my recommender! No words would be enough to thank them!

Yes, back to the time I read the mail notification.I went to my room, switched on my laptop and checked my mail.And I couldn't find the same.I was shocked, frustrated angry and what not.I was sobbing like a baby assuming that they would have unsent the mail.To my rescue came my flatmates.Did all the searching and we then realized that out of hysteria I had moved it to trash!WOW!

Next five days were amazing.I had put in a lot of efforts.Connected to the subject experts and if nothing else, I have an enhanced knowledge base about the area that interests me!

Finally, it was 12th November-The interview date.

I went to the campus well ahead of time.I ensure that I do that every time I go for an interview just to blend with the atmosphere.I met a few people there and I was asked the question which I had assumed would be directed towards me,”Are you an early entry option?”.I’ve to sue the Complan company and I don’t know what else for making me look younger than my age! O_o

I was called by the panel before my scheduled time.I was very well greeted by all three of them.They introduced themselves to me and started off with a casual discussion about my work and the role that I play in.Next came in my long-term goal which was to be in the Finance sector.They asked me what fascinated me so much and we again had a series of discussions regarding the mergers and acquisitions and the work that I do in my current FinTech company.

But at the end, all they had to say was that the premier B-School, doesn’t attract many companies who would recruit for the role of IB-the field that interests me.And that it would be a huge risk for me because even the companies come in, there would be more people in the class, like CAs and CFAs whom companies would prefer.They seemed to be more concerned about me and the debt and the ROI.But in between, we had a series of interesting discussions wherein they were trying to convince me that I should take a bit of more time to decide and I was trying to convince them that I was ready for the challenge.

“Do you know, millions of Americans buy lottery tickets every day just in the hope to win one, one day?”
“Given an option of buying a lottery ticket for the rest of my life and getting into this B-School, I’d still prefer the latter because the odds of winning are way more than that”

“Do you know what who hedge fund managers are and what do they do?”
“Yes.They make in millions.Because they have the art of acquiring money from people, which he’d have earned it from a B-School”

“This would be a huge risk, concerning the field in which you want to get into”
“Life is all about uncertainties and taking risks.If I don’t take a risk now, how will I ever move forward in my life?”

“Yes, you can always be a software developer!”
“I’m passionate about both-software development and finance.And SD is something that I can always do in the form of freelancing.Also, in that case, I’ve to make the finished product and they pay me later.But in case of finance, people will have to trust me with their money first and only then I can give them the alpha, which isn’t going to happen until and unless I have a degree from a reputed B-School”

“Very rarely do we meet somebody who is so passionate about something.Like, after so many years”!

This made me really happy, no matter how the things were going against me in the interview.

The third panelist was an alumnus who too was into Software development industry.He explained me the career steps he took to make this horizontal shift.I can proudly say that this was one of the best interviews I’ve attended.
So at the end, matters obviously didn’t turn out to be as I had expected but all three of them stood up and gave me a parting firm handshake with smiles on their face, saying “Pooja, we really hope to see you at a very good position someday”
“I will”, is all that I had to say in return.
Because no matter what people say and how situations turn against the flow, if I lose that hope and faith in myself, it’ll be the end.
Just when I went out of the cabin and asked the correspondent if I have to finish some formalities, the panelist(alumnus) came out and said he wanted to talk to me.
He asked me not to get disappointed at all,explaining me that getting an interview call at this age itself is a huge achievement in itself.he also gave me his contact number and asked me to connect on LinkedIn, saying that he’d be happy to help me whenever I’m in need of any guidance.
At the end, I had these mixed feelings.On one hand, I had upgraded my level and on the other, things didn’t end up as I had expected them to.
But if I’ve to tag this entire experience, I’ll mark it as one of the best!
Thank you to all the people involved in the process.It’s only you who’s making me better each day(as my recommender summed that up correctly!)


Tuesday, November 7, 2017


What a beautiful year! And believe me, I’m not being sarcastic.Not that everything turned out to be as I wanted, but even though everything was a vice-versa, I have a long list of ‘lessons learned’! And I’m proud of that!

Ask me a thing I haven’t  experienced and I’d have nothing to say!2017 is a plethora of experiences I'll forever wear with pride around my neck! 

I remember, the last post of 2016, I was wishing for a benevolent 2017, because I thought 2016 was worse!But no, it’s not the years that are bad, just our perspective maybe!

2017 started with a glimmering hope.I was hell excited for a change I so knew was coming to me.But as soon as I had a chance to embrace it, I had to think of making wiser decisions.I do not know or maybe I’ll never know if I was right or wrong then, but I’m sure I won’t ever regret it.As they say, let’s hope that another door always opens when one closes.I remember, after a harsh 2016, the morning I had the news of embracing a change, I had cried over the phone to my mom, saying ‘good things are finally coming!’.But careful considerations deemed it to be not so much good!
The second half of the year was full of personal experiences of which I’m so glad of.Although they were bittersweet but , because of the same reasons, I got so close to some people!A helluva of emotions gushing inside of you! Do you realize how it feels? It’s like you’re feeling the entire universe inside you.This was also the period wherein I had put my heart and soul into something I always wanted to achieve.But I wonder why things didn’t work out as I had wished them to be.I remember 2014 was one such year and I had penned down this then,”Sometimes, it’s not that your fist isn’t strong enough to get hold of something, it’s just that fate decides to loosen it”.A period, I have troubled my mom, best friends and flatmates the most! But how much I cherish them! To get out of this trauma, I had to travel.Kashmir is nothing short of an experience. I met some beautiful people and realized that how it sets your mind free!

The latter part of the year, now, taught me that how sometimes it is okay to let go of your ego and make things and situations normal.On a scale of 0-10, if you’d ask me to rate my haughtiness level, I’d be brutally honest to put myself on 9! It’s not an ego, I’d say.But just my nature that I wouldn’t make the first move.But nah! I learned to.A silly clash with a flatmate, who had always assumed, I’d never was shocked when I randomly went and hugged her.There was no need of words or anything.A simple gesture sometimes sorts the things out!

2017, I loved you!

Oh, I have a 5-year-old kiddo daughter now, whom I have never met! I have always debated that I’d always be able to love an adopted kid as much as my own, and now I believe, I'll be (if ever)!  

Saturday, June 24, 2017


Oh June! What a roller coaster ride you have been.
You knew that I hate roller coasters,
Make me feel pukish and nervous and sick.
Yet, you decided to throw me onto one.
Twirl, swirl and turn me around.
Stop! I shout.
To which you are paying no heed.
You are turning out to be a month
I shall never ever forget.
So much is happening in my life
That if I sit and note down my thoughts
It is going to be all disarrayed and baffling.
When it is all plain and simple,
I crave for a change
Now that change is here
I crave for peace of mind.
I ain’t complaining about anything.
I only hope that few years down the lane,
My decisions seem to me sane.
Just as an ending note,
Thank you for teaching me how to survive and fight back,
For if it wasn’t you,
I would never learn how strong I am!

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Strange Feeling

Don’t you have a strange feeling before any new beginning? The feeling of restlessness and nervousness, the feeling that you’re going to move out of your comfort zone to start something new. The sadness that you’re going to no longer be a part of some people’s life. All you’ll be is a lifetime(?) memory for somebody.

Strange, but sometimes I wonder why we humans are given so many emotions.Sometimes, what feels a blessing starts bothering us. A point comes wherein the nostalgia and longing are equally paired with happiness and curiosity.

Doesn’t your journey through all this begin much before the actual start?A whirlwind of emotions and cherishing each day as it passes by, knowing this is the end to the ‘current’ and start to the unexplored.

Sunday, May 21, 2017

Swing along!

Looking back to the posts of 2016
I feel pity for my poor blog.
Once, a source of joy for people
Has now become a place to barf my complaints.
One year and how could I have let that happen?
Is it my life that has turned so or just the writing filter that is working so?
Nah Nah! I remember I had my deepest laugh just yesterday.
Life is not bad c’mon!
A few friends, family and flatmates,
Filling up my life with the much-needed delight.
I promise you my alter-self,
I would use you not just to let my frustration out.
But in the coming months, I promise I’ll hug you tight.
Not to cry but to let tears of joy.
All it needs is to think of the good times,
And hope for better ones.
Then why weight the shoulders down
Thinking about what isn’t?

2am thoughts!

It’s 2 am in the morning.
Once, the favorite time of my day.
Then, I used to enjoy every bit of silence.
Now, the thoughts inside me seem to be louder than the silence outside.
“20’s are meant to be wobbly”-is what I hear people say.
A conversation with a dear colleague makes such thoughts sway.
“Everybody is sailing in the same boat”
What frightened some years back, now soothe the inside.
Yet, things do not seem convincing enough.
The thought that everything will fall in place is something I cannot fathom.
Always taught to fight to get what you want,
Now ask me to alter my direction.
“That’s not what you want” is the ultimate struggle between the brain and the heart.
Every day of my life goes in weighing the opportunity costs.
Should I meet my deadline or go out and enjoy.
“This time is never going to come back again”
Is the argument put forth by both.
Every day of the life goes in motivating myself a hundred times.
That the company should not be a deeper influence is what I learn.
You know what the struggle of an introvert inside but an extrovert outside is?
That people believe there is nothing hidden inside.
Yet this heart struggles to find a soul,
To which it can let its deepest fears out.

How beautiful it would be to just sail along?
How beautiful it would be to reach an undestined land,
More beautiful and greener than thought?
How about just letting go of the what-if thoughts?

Sunday, March 12, 2017

Unique Pre-Birthday Nervousness

I’m usually a happy go lucky kid adult. Okay...A kid in the body of an adult.Kid, because even though I’m turning 24 tomorrow, I’m hell excited for my birthday, which is how it is usually. But I also feel like an adult. I’ve been pronouncing 24 all day long and thinking that the number is a magic number which automatically produces the feeling of being a grown up!Plus,t here’s nobody in my friend circle who’s older than me, who could empathize with this feeling that’s shouldering me since last two days. Other than the fact that I’ll have to now make poor chrome remember a new age for the autofill form feature, I don’t actually see why I should be worried about the +1.

Image result for attitude girl clipartI do not picture myself stop laughing and go and help when somebody would fall in anytime near future. Neither am I going to start sharing chocolates. So yes,as you might have understood, I’m just forcing my neurons to fire these feelings as an imprint on my brain.Plus, I’ve to get smart enough to find new excuses and answers to the most famous Indian question,"24, so when are you going to get married?". All lame ones of course.Because what I’ve found is logical answers are hardly ever accepted.

My plans when an agony aunty pops up such a question:
“Why?Do you have a son?Why don’t you give me his number”
“Why? Haven’t shopped since days or just want to savor some dishes?”
“When is –her kid’s name—getting married?”

See..I’m quite prepared to handle 24.Am I not?

C’mon now! Relax and sit back Pooja! It’s your day! 

Sunday, February 12, 2017


‘Hi again!’ said the wave to the shore.
What seemed to be a routine ,
soon turned out to be a longing.
The wave would bring to the shore-
all the stories of the sea.
And the shore would happily share with the wave-
the shells it collected all day long.
What seemed as a bond to the shore
was illusioned as an eternity for the wave.
Nobody’s fault it was.
For eternity does develop from a bond.
But the wave was naïve enough to not to know
that someday it has to pave another way.
The shore sometimes felt guilty
thinking it should have distanced itself firstly.
The shore and the wave couldn’t ever be the same again.
One was soaked in guilt, the other dried up in betrayal.


Friday, January 13, 2017

#MadeMeSmile 1

This post is the first in the series of the posts titled #MadeMeSmile. Weekly posts describing an event or a set of events that made me smile or be thankful for.

1st of January,2017, a friend of mine forwarded me this image.

Not an empty jar and notes, but a blog post every week would at least make me feel beautiful about my life and get me back on my blogging routine.
The first week of January went smooth enough.

1st of January,I visited an orphanage for the first time in my life.I had always wanted to go,but either life got a little busy or I got skilled enough to make excuses that everytime I thought of going, I couldn’t. I took a cake and spent an hour or so with the kids there. Saw diversity in them. That was also the first time I dared to go alone on a two-wheeler in this city.Of course, I could have booked a cab and gone,but new year should also be the year when I get rid of my fears and insecurities.Directions are a paranoia for me.They just scare the shit out of me.But I trusted my GPS and went out for a ride of a lifetime.Almost 20km on bike, with GPS enabled phone handy enough to check every 5 min and people who come to rescue when asked directions was all I had.A good feeling at the end of the day,I must say!

My parents paid me a visit for four days and the main purpose of their visit would shock you as much as it shocked my friends. I have trouble shopping. I can make light purchases but when it comes to spending beyond a certain amount, I need either sister or mom.I had to buy a silk saree and I had roamed almost every place with my flatmates here but to no avail.

So finally supermom came to my rescue and we went to Secunderabad for a hopeful purchase.

Sadly, Uber and Ola were on a surge that day and knowing that the local trains are pretty decent here in Hyderabad, we decided to board a MMTS.

In the train, I saw what saddens me the most. A cute little kid holding a musical instrument and begging. Behind her came her mother carrying a toddler. I don’t usually prefer giving money as alms to beggars until and unless there’s no other form of help I can offer. But at that moment, I had ‘Murukku’,an Indian snack in my bag.I offered one to that little girl who came to me begging.She took it without any hesitation and smiled at me.She wouldn’t be more than 6 years old.What she did next,is something that touched my heart profoundly.She, without a second thought, offered that single piece to her little brother whom her mother was carrying. I was at loss of any thoughts or words. At the age of 6,I only remember snatching things from my sister or maybe crying and weeping to get something. This amount of benevolence, I could neither have never had nor can have.
Seeing that, I took out one more from my bag and offered it to the little girl. She took that happily and went away.That left me thinking that the snack item was something she would have never had.And in spite of that how generous enough it was of her to not even take a bite and give it all to her brother.

As it is rightly said,’Being rich at heart makes you wealthy beyond compare’.The incident left me feel poorer.