Tuesday, November 24, 2015

The Story of a Triangle.

A Triangle-Not a Love triangle but a friendship triangle. A pure and subtle form of friendship. The distance(both physical and mental) between all three vertices and the center was the same initially.

Then Vertex A had this opportunity far somewhere.And it wanted to go there and explore the opportunity knocking at its door! It decided to pave that path.Hence the triangle was no longer an equilateral triangle.
It turned out to be an isosceles one. Something like,

Point O was still at the same place.Just that vertex A had to travel longer to reach it now.B and C still had the same distance to be travelled. Vertex B was a weird kind of.It always said A and C are amongst its closest people but hardly made attempts to show that. Vertex C is super cool. For it,the increase in the distance between A and itself hardly matters. Either its Vertex A or vertex C calling each other or pinging each other daily and talking about their lives.Vertex C is cooler than Vertex A when it comes to getting angry. It feels bad when Vertex B doesn’t call it even when it knows it’s B’s most important exams.But C simply doesn’t bother much.If B doesn’t call,C will call,always!A possesses some different personality traits. A knows B doesn’t do that.Yet A thinks why should it be always the one making an attempt from its side.But sometimes,leaving it’s ego aisde,A calls.B still doesn’t.

After months,A decides it would leave its vertex for a while and come back at an earlier position when they-A,B,C become equidistant from O.A travels.Tired,exhausted,excited and a mix of all the emotions.C is super excited.
It’s going to be C’s exams in a few days and A is going to be super busy.A knew how excited C was and B knew how excited A was.C had invited A to her home for dinner.It mattered a lot to A,for even though C’s exams were so close,it had managed and changed its schedule in such a manner that it could meet A.Upon institng,A had promised B that it would come on the day it lands.Unfortunately,A couldn’t go.But just because it knew C would get upset,A decided to give her a surprise visit with a present it had so fondly brought from its new location.C was super ecstatic to see A.Both of them jumped in joy!

After staying there was 7 long days,it was the time to bid goodbye to the place.And in between all this,A was at least expecting a call from B.It knew,that both A and B knew that things were now not the same.That A wasn’t going to visit its old coordinates for the next whole year.Yet,B made no attempts to call or meet.You would argue,why didn’t A make any attempts?Because of the same reason-it had been doing that for a long time now and it wanted to see if  the long distance made any changes for betterment to B.But alas,no difference.It was the time of journey.Upon reaching the next co-ordinate point and the last of the previous area,A couldn’t take it anymore,all by itself and called C mentioning the same.C just tried to console A saying it’s B’s nature and various such other justifications. A knew it was just so that it leaves the area joyously.

A by its nature stopped talking to B.This continued for about a week.B made attempts to reconnect to A.A finally,somehow,could console itself and changed the otherwise bitter feelings for B.

Then it was the festival of lights everywhere,at A,B and C’s place.Difference being,both B and C were with their families and A wasn’t.C being A’s best friend,knew A was tender when it came to festivals and made every attempt to keep it happy.Just a phone call did magic and that C knew! A loves C!
A again deliberately did not wish B.It had been doing that, for all the festivals past an year.All special greetings! Plus the previous incident had changed something,it knew that!

What A got from B was what B would wish to all.Everybody!With that typical greeting and your name below,the way you send to your office bosses! But A also knew,it was not sent the same way to all.

That was the day,A’s feelings for B shattered,just like pieces of glass!And then A always knew no relationship can sustain with the inputs of love and care from just one side.Everything appeared to be crushed.

It gave immense pain to know that it had been just a trash bin for the past few months for B’s all frustrations and the vice versa was seldom true. A decided to loosen the noose-AB.It needed a greater area to breathe.

Doing that never gave it even a tinge of happiness to it.But now,not just these,but many more in its heart,it was all bursting out.It was suffocating it from inside.It did not want to waste its time again reminding B of all the times it had badly hurt A,so it ended it the harsh way.No explanations,no justifications.

Monday, November 16, 2015

Chicken Soup for my Own Soul

As we age, we notice some things and some people distancing from us. Nothing of course is intentional but one day ,while flipping back to the pages of past few days, you suddenly notice it’s been a week since you last talked to the person who, until some months back, used to be your ‘BFF’.You are in an awe with the sudden changes that have taken place. Wherein one thing/place/person prioritizes the other.

Consider friendships, for example. There was a time, when my dictionary (a thin little book floating in my brain) defined friendship in a completely different way. For me,it had to be daily conversations, talking about the day, sharing everything what you’d come across the giant web for that day etc. For me, being a good friend meant being available for them 24*7,behaving crazy for their birthdays and in return expecting nothing less than that.

But in between, during the transition, I found that this all is a little messed up and exhausting. Unreasonable demands, stupid expectations, daily tantrums and a lot of drama-from both the ends!Soon,it came to my realization that all this is nothing but waste of precious personal energy. Burdening yourself and the others by shouldering the word ‘FRIENDSHIP’ upon them.

And before I glanced back I noticed that this phase-wherein life redefined friendship for me, had already passed in my life before I could realize it,of course with a little pain, but a lot of gain and personal serenity. I no longer feel responsible for any trivial thing. I’ve gotten mature, if that’s the word’’ to understand that other’s lives need not necessarily revolve around us, just as we hope it does,sometimes.I no longer have to wait for those silly texts from ‘BFF’s’ and get annoyed and feel belittled when they don’t pop up.

The time has come,that I, consciously, redefine the word ‘friendship’ in the same dictionary aforementioned. It need not be daily talks with them but once in a while call asking if everything’s alright.I no longer want to feel weighed down and neither want to make others feel that.No drama,no record-keeping and no expectations-the new mantra for life.

This of course doesn’t mean cutting relationships with the so amazing people I already have in my life. They say as you grow older making new friends becomes difficult and that you should cling on to the older ones.
Take for instance A.A person,whom,if I call, without me uttering a word, knows I’m weeping on the other end. And being a person he is, he’ll let me.For whole of the 5-10-15 minutes-till my sobbing ends.Also,some other day, when I’m in my all frenzy and it gets extra for my body to hold on to it and I call him,just hearing the first word, even if we’re talking after maybe weeks and months, will start off saying ‘You sound so happy’ and then continues our happy conversation.
B,another example,a friend for 9 years now,is more like a sister to me.Happiness is always shared,sadness may not always be.

There are more,not necessarily with such unique characteristics in our friendship but definitely some,whom I don’t want to loosen that noose with. And I know, they’ll be there always-for me.With no expectations and little drama.

Wednesday, November 11, 2015

On Diwali,1200km far from home.

Two People.
Met Some months Ago.
From Just colleagues to Friends they turned.
They knew not, one day they’ll share their pain and sorrow as well.

X and Y are two girls here.

 X is 1200km far from her hometown. She had just been there for her favorite festival-Navratri.Going there again, just after days was not an idea good enough.She thought she’ll stay back for Diwali at her work city and hoped God would give her strength enough to survive a day or two.X simply loves festivals.She loves the sound of the crackers as much as the music of the Garbas.Being this the first Diwali away from home,X was very sad.All her office colleagues were on leave.She has flexible holiday advantage at her office.She had initially thought she won’t go.But then pondering over the thought of what she’ll do sitting at home,she changed her mind and decided to do otherwise.She knew Y was going to come.

Y is three years elder to X and yet she shares all her problems with her.Y is a localitie. She stays with her grandma in the city with parents being frequent visitors.She is in love with a man whom Y’s parents won’t approve of,with no specific reason.Y’s parents are very angry at her.So much that they didn’t even wish her on her birthday.And whenever Y’s parents come,she prefers maintaining a distance from them.Y’s father was in the city.Y now had a reason to come to the office.She knew X would be there.Y came.

The city roads made us realize it a festival.It took just minutes to reach the office.There were more people than expected.X and Y began their routine which included work and talk.Then they were hungry.They decided to go down and have something.X reminisced how her mother used to prepare paisam and rice and curry on this day and what X and Y were eating(noodles) was nowhere near to that.X missed her home.Her family.She knew her parents would be missing her more than she is missing them.Talking to them would mean making them gloomier. She let go of the idea.But X had to find a way out.And the form was tears.She started sobbing .Y had a different reason to join X.Y felt that how piteous the situation has become that she needs a reason to run away from her family.
X and Y both came up teary-eyed. They had to find a reason to get happy again.X thought of a way.Shopping.

X asked Y.Y agreed,but with not much enthusiasm. X and Y left office at 3.X,as soon as she reached the place,an open area, handicraft shopping center of the city,looking at the colors there,she became cheery. But Y was still sad.They walked and walked but couldn’t find anything.Finally a store came up and X and Y both liked a dupatta.

X and Y bargained like kids yet like women.
The seller hadn’t anticipated the presence of ‘mithai’ in the bag of a chocolate-lover-X.And he said,"Mooh mitha karvao,toh aur 100/- discount doonga"
X suddenly opened her bag,and showing the chocolates with the bright gleam in her eyes said ,"Yay! Mere paas hai mithai."

X and Y loved bargaining. But they loved their dupattas even more.This bargaining had turned Y cheery too.X and Y walked the way out as happy women.

Sometimes I wonder, if it’s the happiness that brings people closer of the pain and sorrow.

Saturday, November 7, 2015

11:55 thoughts.

Image result for pearls falling

It took a year,
To put each pearl in the garland,
With utmost love and care.
Every bead was a pure white,
Representing amity and truth.
And each one was as if,
Stuffed with memories of making.
They kept it with tenderness,
In a closed closet, opening it only to cherish those memories.
Soon they noticed the whites turning pale.
When each pearl was impaired with the deceits
And handled with carelessness,
With the thread feeling like a noose,
They just loosened it.
Watching the peals with so many memories attached to them,
Falling down one by one was a pain to both of them.
But it was better than watching the whole garland turn black.
Now, if not the garland, they at least have memories,
That they’ll have to treasure INDIVIDUALLY!


Like a ship with no radar I feel,
Sailing somewhere I hadn’t hoped to.
Long before I left the land,
She, my best friend, stood there cautioning me,
Of the possible hurricanes and storms.
She, although childish, yet more mature,
Hadn’t sailed before, but knew from other’s experiences.
Till the last moment, she pleaded me to come back.
But knowing she’s a no better sailor,
I just ignored her call.
Now in the middle of the sea,
I so wish I had gone back then.
But here I stand, watching the sun and the moon
From dawn to dusk and dusk to dawn,
Thinking of all the promises he had made to me,
Of the times when I would reach the other end.
But I realized late that he’s the master of all sailors,
Who predicted right that I’ll never be able to cross the deep blue!