As we age, we notice some things and some people distancing from us. Nothing of course is intentional but one day ,while flipping back to the pages of past few days, you suddenly notice it’s been a week since you last talked to the person who, until some months back, used to be your ‘BFF’.You are in an awe with the sudden changes that have taken place. Wherein one thing/place/person prioritizes the other.
Consider friendships, for example. There was a time, when my dictionary (a thin little book floating in my brain) defined friendship in a completely different way. For me,it had to be daily conversations, talking about the day, sharing everything what you’d come across the giant web for that day etc. For me, being a good friend meant being available for them 24*7,behaving crazy for their birthdays and in return expecting nothing less than that.
But in between, during the transition, I found that this all is a little messed up and exhausting. Unreasonable demands, stupid expectations, daily tantrums and a lot of drama-from both the ends!Soon,it came to my realization that all this is nothing but waste of precious personal energy. Burdening yourself and the others by shouldering the word ‘FRIENDSHIP’ upon them.
And before I glanced back I noticed that this phase-wherein life redefined friendship for me, had already passed in my life before I could realize it,of course with a little pain, but a lot of gain and personal serenity. I no longer feel responsible for any trivial thing. I’ve gotten mature, if that’s the word’’ to understand that other’s lives need not necessarily revolve around us, just as we hope it does,sometimes.I no longer have to wait for those silly texts from ‘BFF’s’ and get annoyed and feel belittled when they don’t pop up.
The time has come,that I, consciously, redefine the word ‘friendship’ in the same dictionary aforementioned. It need not be daily talks with them but once in a while call asking if everything’s alright.I no longer want to feel weighed down and neither want to make others feel that.No drama,no record-keeping and no expectations-the new mantra for life.
This of course doesn’t mean cutting relationships with the so amazing people I already have in my life. They say as you grow older making new friends becomes difficult and that you should cling on to the older ones.
Take for instance A.A person,whom,if I call, without me uttering a word, knows I’m weeping on the other end. And being a person he is, he’ll let me.For whole of the 5-10-15 minutes-till my sobbing ends.Also,some other day, when I’m in my all frenzy and it gets extra for my body to hold on to it and I call him,just hearing the first word, even if we’re talking after maybe weeks and months, will start off saying ‘You sound so happy’ and then continues our happy conversation.
B,another example,a friend for 9 years now,is more like a sister to me.Happiness is always shared,sadness may not always be.
There are more,not necessarily with such unique characteristics in our friendship but definitely some,whom I don’t want to loosen that noose with. And I know, they’ll be there always-for me.With no expectations and little drama.