Saturday, June 24, 2017

June,2017!


Oh June! What a roller coaster ride you have been.
You knew that I hate roller coasters,
Make me feel pukish and nervous and sick.
Yet, you decided to throw me onto one.
Twirl, swirl and turn me around.
Stop! I shout.
To which you are paying no heed.
You are turning out to be a month
I shall never ever forget.
So much is happening in my life
That if I sit and note down my thoughts
It is going to be all disarrayed and baffling.
When it is all plain and simple,
I crave for a change
Now that change is here
I crave for peace of mind.
I ain’t complaining about anything.
I only hope that few years down the lane,
My decisions seem to me sane.
Just as an ending note,
Thank you for teaching me how to survive and fight back,
For if it wasn’t you,
I would never learn how strong I am!

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Strange Feeling


Don’t you have a strange feeling before any new beginning? The feeling of restlessness and nervousness, the feeling that you’re going to move out of your comfort zone to start something new. The sadness that you’re going to no longer be a part of some people’s life. All you’ll be is a lifetime(?) memory for somebody.

Strange, but sometimes I wonder why we humans are given so many emotions.Sometimes, what feels a blessing starts bothering us. A point comes wherein the nostalgia and longing are equally paired with happiness and curiosity.


Doesn’t your journey through all this begin much before the actual start?A whirlwind of emotions and cherishing each day as it passes by, knowing this is the end to the ‘current’ and start to the unexplored.

Sunday, May 21, 2017

2am thoughts!

It’s 2 am in the morning.
Once, the favorite time of my day.
Then, I used to enjoy every bit of silence.
Now, the thoughts inside me seem to be louder than the silence outside.
“20’s are meant to be wobbly”-is what I hear people say.
A conversation with a dear colleague makes such thoughts sway.
“Everybody is sailing in the same boat”
What frightened some years back, now soothe the inside.
Yet, things do not seem convincing enough.
The thought that everything will fall in place is something I cannot fathom.
Always taught to fight to get what you want,
Now ask me to alter my direction.
“That’s not what you want” is the ultimate struggle between the brain and the heart.
Every day of my life goes in weighing the opportunity costs.
Should I meet my deadline or go out and enjoy.
“This time is never going to come back again”
Is the argument put forth by both.
Every day of the life goes in motivating myself a hundred times.
That the company should not be a deeper influence is what I learn.
You know what the struggle of an introvert inside but an extrovert outside is?
That people believe there is nothing hidden inside.
Yet this heart struggles to find a soul,
To which it can let its deepest fears out.

How beautiful it would be to just sail along?
How beautiful it would be to reach an undestined land,
More beautiful and greener than thought?
How about just letting go of the what-if thoughts?




Sunday, March 12, 2017

Unique Pre-Birthday Nervousness

I’m usually a happy go lucky kid adult. Okay...A kid in the body of an adult.Kid, because even though I’m turning 24 tomorrow, I’m hell excited for my birthday, which is how it is usually. But I also feel like an adult. I’ve been pronouncing 24 all day long and thinking that the number is a magic number which automatically produces the feeling of being a grown up!Plus,t here’s nobody in my friend circle who’s older than me, who could empathize with this feeling that’s shouldering me since last two days. Other than the fact that I’ll have to now make poor chrome remember a new age for the autofill form feature, I don’t actually see why I should be worried about the +1.

Image result for attitude girl clipartI do not picture myself stop laughing and go and help when somebody would fall in anytime near future. Neither am I going to start sharing chocolates. So yes,as you might have understood, I’m just forcing my neurons to fire these feelings as an imprint on my brain.Plus, I’ve to get smart enough to find new excuses and answers to the most famous Indian question,"24, so when are you going to get married?". All lame ones of course.Because what I’ve found is logical answers are hardly ever accepted.

My plans when an agony aunty pops up such a question:
“Why?Do you have a son?Why don’t you give me his number”
“Why? Haven’t shopped since days or just want to savor some dishes?”
“When is –her kid’s name—getting married?”

See..I’m quite prepared to handle 24.Am I not?


C’mon now! Relax and sit back Pooja! It’s your day! 

Sunday, February 12, 2017

Longing

‘Hi again!’ said the wave to the shore.
What seemed to be a routine ,
soon turned out to be a longing.
The wave would bring to the shore-
all the stories of the sea.
And the shore would happily share with the wave-
the shells it collected all day long.
What seemed as a bond to the shore
was illusioned as an eternity for the wave.
Nobody’s fault it was.
For eternity does develop from a bond.
But the wave was naïve enough to not to know
that someday it has to pave another way.
The shore sometimes felt guilty
thinking it should have distanced itself firstly.
The shore and the wave couldn’t ever be the same again.
One was soaked in guilt, the other dried up in betrayal.

 #MoviesMakeMeCry!


Friday, January 13, 2017

#MadeMeSmile 1

This post is the first in the series of the posts titled #MadeMeSmile. Weekly posts describing an event or a set of events that made me smile or be thankful for.

1st of January,2017, a friend of mine forwarded me this image.


Not an empty jar and notes, but a blog post every week would at least make me feel beautiful about my life and get me back on my blogging routine.
The first week of January went smooth enough.

1st of January,I visited an orphanage for the first time in my life.I had always wanted to go,but either life got a little busy or I got skilled enough to make excuses that everytime I thought of going, I couldn’t. I took a cake and spent an hour or so with the kids there. Saw diversity in them. That was also the first time I dared to go alone on a two-wheeler in this city.Of course, I could have booked a cab and gone,but new year should also be the year when I get rid of my fears and insecurities.Directions are a paranoia for me.They just scare the shit out of me.But I trusted my GPS and went out for a ride of a lifetime.Almost 20km on bike, with GPS enabled phone handy enough to check every 5 min and people who come to rescue when asked directions was all I had.A good feeling at the end of the day,I must say!

My parents paid me a visit for four days and the main purpose of their visit would shock you as much as it shocked my friends. I have trouble shopping. I can make light purchases but when it comes to spending beyond a certain amount, I need either sister or mom.I had to buy a silk saree and I had roamed almost every place with my flatmates here but to no avail.

So finally supermom came to my rescue and we went to Secunderabad for a hopeful purchase.

Sadly, Uber and Ola were on a surge that day and knowing that the local trains are pretty decent here in Hyderabad, we decided to board a MMTS.

In the train, I saw what saddens me the most. A cute little kid holding a musical instrument and begging. Behind her came her mother carrying a toddler. I don’t usually prefer giving money as alms to beggars until and unless there’s no other form of help I can offer. But at that moment, I had ‘Murukku’,an Indian snack in my bag.I offered one to that little girl who came to me begging.She took it without any hesitation and smiled at me.She wouldn’t be more than 6 years old.What she did next,is something that touched my heart profoundly.She, without a second thought, offered that single piece to her little brother whom her mother was carrying. I was at loss of any thoughts or words. At the age of 6,I only remember snatching things from my sister or maybe crying and weeping to get something. This amount of benevolence, I could neither have never had nor can have.
Seeing that, I took out one more from my bag and offered it to the little girl. She took that happily and went away.That left me thinking that the snack item was something she would have never had.And in spite of that how generous enough it was of her to not even take a bite and give it all to her brother.

As it is rightly said,’Being rich at heart makes you wealthy beyond compare’.The incident left me feel poorer.



Sunday, December 25, 2016

2016-A year of disappointment

A while ago, I was reading an article on The Atlantic, titled,'2016-On blaming a year for the things that happened in it. The article described a series of mishappenings in the year we’re soon going to bid goodbye to. Stating the demise of boxing legend Muhammad Ali and the singer Prince, the doomsday that was November 8,2016 with Trump emerging as the leader of the world superpower, the deplorable state of human form that Aleppo is currently now in, the Brexit and several such events which we never had imagined or asked for.

Much like what 2016 was for the majority of the globe, personally too, it hadn’t been a satisfying year.Probably for the first time I say this, or rather blame a year, in my life. Of course,there are things and people in my life for which I’m very thankful for but I had to struggle a lot to get something and for the most attempts, I did not even meet the end result. Disappointing, I must say.

Nothing has ever been easy to acquire in my life. Everything I am is a result of hard work. Good thing because I never learnt to leave anything to my so called luck-if such a thing even exists. And I had always loved toiling and then tasting success. That’s what used to restore my faith in self. But 2016 turned the tables down. My belief in diligence seems to be shattered as of now. That was one thing I believed shall never betray me, but it did. Not once but many a times. Whatever I attempted this year, hasn’t savored success.

It seems silly to blame a year for the things that didn’t turn out to be in my favour. But then I don’t know whom else to blame. At least this way, as The Atlantic puts it forth, I can hope for a benevolent 2017.

2016, no matter how harsh you were to me and no matter how many times I had to fight to get what I deserved, I shall always be grateful to you. For all the bittersweet moments, for all the lessons. At this state, I don’t know how to get up and fight back-shattered I am, a bit, but I’m sure 2017 will teach me that too!

J

Monday, August 29, 2016

Poetry

There’s something special about poetry. I just wrote one. And I realize it’s a story into making.However,when I opened up my ‘Poetry’ tagged posts, I notice that each one of them has a life.Each line, each word in all the poems that I’ve written breathes, and reach and scratch the rusted parts of my heart.
Image result for poetryNot all of them ,of course, are my own stories, even if they have been written in first person. But I time-travel whenever I read one. I’m currently in my own nostalgia-blanket, recalling all the situations and stories that had made it so easy to draft such lines.
Having been lagging when it comes to writing these days,these poems also make me ponder whether I’m no longer creative. But then again I realize that poetry is not just a piece of writing.It has its own flow and own feelings,which a normal story cannot be converted into.

I fail to understand poems which are written by others and somewhere I believe it’s a writer’s ingenuity that he can hide his life in such intricacy of words-subtle yet so beautiful.

Friday, August 26, 2016

A Happy Janmashtmi! :D

Janmashtmi is one of those festivals on which I’ve fasted ever since I remember. But it used to be a lenient type of fasting as mom wouldn’t let me do the ‘nirjal’ vrat,or,never had I thought of doing it.Till 2014,Janmashtmi for me was a festival and fasting was something that was ardently followed. We used to visit the temple,worship and break the fast the next day.

2014 introduced me to Mahabharat-a TV series being telecasted on StarPlus. Never before  had I been a fan of mythology. But somehow this TV series, because of the cinemetography and its characters caught my attention and I used to ardently follow it.And this is how I fell in love with Krishna.Most of the episodes used to end with ‘Krishna Seekh’ and I could connect each of them to my life.And all this seemed to be realistic. Mahabharata turned out to be much more than mythology for me.I particularly adored Krishna-Subhadra and Krishna-Draupadi relationship. Such profundity in the bond! Ever since childhood,I always missed having a brother-especially during Rakshabandhan :P.After watching Krishna-Subhadra,I started imagining myself at her place.And that’s how our bond(from my side:P) grew stronger.

There have been instances when I have been smacked by circumstances and I’ve taken abode in his words.That’s his power according to me.Divine Lord!
This year,just some hours before Janmashhtmi,I was reading about it.I got to know about the two categories of fast that people observe.One,Nirjal Vrat in which one does not consume even water and the other in which people consume milk and fruits.I thought I would observe the Nirjal Vrat this time.It was just out of sheer devotion for him.Next morning,while I was thinking about the decision I’d made,it tensed me to the core.I’m not the one who can stay hungry all day.And never before I’d done even the second category of fast.It was then that I had a silent conversation with God asking mercy in case I couldn’t be fair with my resolution.

Except for a slight headache, which is sometimes the case during usual days too,there wasn’t much difference I found.At around 7,we went to the temple,worshipped him,saw little kids dressed up as Krishna and Radha and the cultural programs being hosted there.

It is said that fasting is all about controlling yourself.It is meant to test your will power too.It so happened that among many of us who went to the temple,I was the lone who had decided not to eat.So they decided to have Dosas from a very famous dosa center,which is my favorite place.I was tempted to the core.So much so that I thought of getting it parceled and eating it as my break-fast at 12 am.However,at that moment another friend called and asked if any of us was fasting so that he gets a company at 12-the time when we end our fast.I was so elated.We invited him to our place and over the call,decided that we would have rice and daal.

It was almost 11.And yet,I was feeling energetic. Not once I could feel that I was fasting.For others it might be normal,for me I consider it a blessing of strength bestowed. It was then I thought that if I could observe a day long fast,why not make it even more special?The guy was at our place at 11 with a delicious sweet that he’d made.(His girlfriend loves Krishna too :P).I thought of making Puri-Bhaji that we’d offer to God along with the sweet that he’d made.Once the Puris were all made,thinking that they’d be less for all 4 of us,I cooked rice. Once the rice was made,I felt something was missing and that if we’d made all this,why not make it a complete meal for Lord.That added Papad and Sabudana fryms.And finally,banana-milk-sugar mixture.So that was the best offering we could make for my Krishna! :D



And now comes the most shocking part :As I have mentioned above,my mom would never let me do the Nirjal vrat.And I didn’t want her to know that I was observing an absolute fast.So like any other person would do,I lied to her when she asked me whether I had something to eat and drink. I told her that I had fruits and milk and even then I had to hear her yell at me.
Last night,I had whatsapp-ed the images of the food we had prepared and on call I told her how fun it was.How we played the tune of Shell(which symbolizes good),how I kept the windows open after offering the delicacies to Lord so that it is easier for him to enter and have that and how we ended our fast.Just then,in a very serious voice she asked me,
‘You didn’t even have water?’.
I was dumbstruck at this moment.I could have never imagined that question being popped up.Because I don’t think that mom would have thought about it.
I tried diverting the topic of discussion but she asked that to me again.

Now,I couldn’t lie.I told her the truth.She scolded me for a minute or two because I know how much she loves and cares for me and my health but I could sense a feeling of pride for me in her voice.And listening to the celebration,she was so happy!

I wonder how moms are so wonderful! How do they get to know without even a subtle hint.Then I thought of all the possible sources via which she would have gotten a hint.But no! I had even lied to my best friend. Neither did my sister know about it.How is that even possible?

All day I was wondering about the same.At the end,I conclude that Moms are Super Humans! :D

Saturday, June 18, 2016

Orangey Fanta Times: A Prank Call AGAIN!

I admit I’ve almost lost track of writing. From 5 posts a month to 0-1 posts, this is indeed a drastic change. Blame it on my laziness or lack of topics, the truth is, I somewhere miss the previous me-The one who had millions of incidents in life which she wanted to pen down.

Till today morning, I was the same. Either thinking of some topic to write about or creating some imaginary stories to pen down, but again, failed miserably. It wasn’t until 11:00 a.m. that I finally had something interesting in my life that I have to write about.

On 11th November,2013,I had begun a series of posts titled ‘Orangey Fanta Times’ which would be a collection of all the crazy stupid things which happen in college. It all started with a friend of mine who had executed an exceptionally well planned prank. And today, the same person does it again.*Bows*
(Link to the post that contains that Prank details :http://karadgipooja.blogspot.in/2013/12/orangey-fanta-times-prank-call-proves.html)

After almost 3 years, I had an Orangey Fanta Time again! Here it goes.

It was around 10 a.m. and we flat mates were just deciding what to cook for the meals. Just then I heard my phone’s ringtone. I saw the number and it had 079 prefix. I knew it was from Ahmedbad.I expected it to be somehow related to my past life. :P

I picked up the phone and I hear somebody who introduced himself as ‘Syed Ahmed’.
He : Hi,Am I talking to Miss Pooja Karadgi?
I : Yes.
He : Hi,I’m Syed Ahmed calling from LinkedIn and wanted to talk about an interesting opportunity onboard. Is this a good time to talk to you?
I : Yes,Tell me?
He: As you might be aware,the company is now taken over by Microsoft and we have a new analytics department coming up.I just came across your profile and got to know that you’ve worked in analytics before.(I have a few projects mentioned in my profile).So you currently work for ABC company right?
I : Yes.
He : What work do you do there?
I : Mine is a development profile.I basically develop apps used to collect data.
He : So it’s not related to analytics?
I : No..
He : Which database do you use?
I : (this).
He : That’s so outdated.
(It’s actually not.But I had no intentions of spoiling my relations with any HR :P)
So,are you looking for a job change then?
I : As of now,I’m not actively looking for one.
He : Okay.Thank you.
I : Yep,Thank you.

I cut the call and went on with my usual chores not even thinking about this.

After a while,this college friend of mine calls me,whom I had called a few days back but who seemed to be too busy that day.I taunted him for a while and then began our usual conversation.

In the middle of the conversation regarding jobs and stuff, whether I was looking for a job change or something.
I,in my usual tone,told him about the recent call I had received. He asked me about the profile they were offering,that why did I reject straight ,why didn’t I give a try.To cut short,he tried to make me feel guilty.
After a while he mentioned that he too had received a call from ‘Syed Ahmed’ from LinkedIn a few days back.And that,he currently works into analytics,they even took his interviews.One conference and one Skype.And then he was called to their Mumbai office on Monday for the next round.I congratulated him and asked him for a treat.

After a while,he very seriously asks me,
“Pooja..Sachh Sach bata..Tu sad hui mera sunke?’
I :“Why would I be sad.As a natural human would feel,I would have felt a little sad if I had attempted the same and failed.But right now,No..Because I dint even give it a try”
He : “Hahahahah! Who Syed Ahmed mai hi tha.I got a new landline connection at home.Yay!”
I : “Kaminee..Kab sudhrega!”

Then he made me realize how much of hard work it had involved.
  • Syed Ahmed is actually the HR of LinkedIn.
  • If I had shown even 1% interest in the offer,he said he would have added me into a conference call and interviewed me there and then.Undoubtedly, he would also have been the technical lead and the HR as well.He’s a genius when it comes to fooling people.
  • And that how he would have made me study for the whole of weekend for the interview he would have scheduled on Monday.

I cursed him innumerable times imagining the what-ifs!

Finally,I accepted that, yes,I can be fooled and he does that exceptionally well.
I’m so glad that some people and some friendships and some bonds never change. No matter how your lives take different turns, how far you’re from one another, how frequent you share your stories with each other, there are people with whom you’ll always love laughing and fooling around!
Stupid people!