Tuesday, November 7, 2017

2017!

What a beautiful year! And believe me, I’m not being sarcastic.Not that everything turned out to be as I wanted, but even though everything was a vice-versa, I have a long list of ‘lessons learned’! And I’m proud of that!

Ask me a thing I haven’t done or experienced and I’d have nothing to say!2017 is a plethora of experiences I'll forever wear with pride around my neck! 

I remember, the last post of 2016, I was wishing for a benevolent 2017, because I thought 2016 was worse!But no, it’s not the years that are bad, just our perspective maybe!

2017 started with a glimmering hope.I was hell excited for a change I so knew was coming to me.But as soon as I had a chance to embrace it, I had to think of making wiser decisions.I do not know or maybe I’ll never know if I was right or wrong then, but I’m sure I won’t ever regret it.As they say, let’s hope that another door always opens when one closes.I remember, after a harsh 2016, the morning I had the news of embracing a change, I had cried over the phone to my mom, saying ‘good things are finally coming!’.But careful considerations deemed it to be not so much good!
The second half of the year was full of personal experiences of which I’m so glad of.Although they were bittersweet but , because of the same reasons, I got so close to some people!A helluva of emotions gushing inside of you! Do you realize how it feels? It’s like you’re feeling the entire universe inside you.This was also the period wherein I had put my heart and soul into something I always wanted to achieve.But I wonder why things didn’t work out as I had wished them to be.I remember 2014 was one such year and I had penned down this then,”Sometimes, it’s not that your fist isn’t strong enough to get hold of something, it’s just that fate decides to loosen it”.A period, I have troubled my mom, best friends and flatmates the most! But how much I cherish them! To get out of this trauma, I had to travel.Kashmir is nothing short of an experience. I met some beautiful people and realized that how it sets your mind free!

The latter part of the year, now, taught me that how sometimes it is okay to let go of your ego and make things and situations normal.On a scale of 0-10, if you’d ask me to rate my haughtiness level, I’d be brutally honest to put myself on 9! It’s not an ego, I’d say.But just my nature that I wouldn’t make the first move.But nah! I learned to.A silly clash with a flatmate, who had always assumed, I’d never was shocked when I randomly went and hugged her.There was no need of words or anything.A simple gesture sometimes sorts the things out!

2017, I loved you!


Oh, I have a 5-year-old kiddo daughter now, whom I have never met! I have always debated that I’d always be able to love an adopted kid as much as my own, and now I believe, I'll be (if ever)!  

Tuesday, July 11, 2017

I opened the door and quietly sneaked in..

Something I wrote for the TTT [Terribly Tiny Tales] application!
For all those of you interested in writing, do go and check out their application form.You are surely going to tickle your imaginative mind and it'll be fun no matter what the results turn out to be.
Q: A paragraph that should end with I opened the door and quietly sneaked in.
Related imageShe thought she was strong enough to resist me.But little did she know how powerful I am.I am the most favorite of the authors and the poets. She was a writer too. But I wonder what made her keep on resisting me.Maybe she didn’t like the way people like belittling me.Maybe she wanted me in the utmost pure form. Maybe she didn’t want me in bits and pieces. Maybe she didn’t want to welcome any of my antonyms along with me.Years passed by.Yet, she was still the same. And I kept on wondering how do I sneak in.I loved her.I wanted to make her love me too.I gave her what she wanted the most--time. But now, that was not an option too. I know she wasn’t yet ready for it.I wanted to make her feel what always accompanies me-the butterflies in the stomach, the nervousness, the shyness, the possessiveness.I know that that would change her into a completely different person. But I wanted to make her feel and believe that she’s stronger than me.I am love.And I decided to get into her life. I opened the door and quietly sneaked in.


Saturday, June 24, 2017

June,2017!


Oh June! What a roller coaster ride you have been.
You knew that I hate roller coasters,
Make me feel pukish and nervous and sick.
Yet, you decided to throw me onto one.
Twirl, swirl and turn me around.
Stop! I shout.
To which you are paying no heed.
You are turning out to be a month
I shall never ever forget.
So much is happening in my life
That if I sit and note down my thoughts
It is going to be all disarrayed and baffling.
When it is all plain and simple,
I crave for a change
Now that change is here
I crave for peace of mind.
I ain’t complaining about anything.
I only hope that few years down the lane,
My decisions seem to me sane.
Just as an ending note,
Thank you for teaching me how to survive and fight back,
For if it wasn’t you,
I would never learn how strong I am!

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Strange Feeling


Don’t you have a strange feeling before any new beginning? The feeling of restlessness and nervousness, the feeling that you’re going to move out of your comfort zone to start something new. The sadness that you’re going to no longer be a part of some people’s life. All you’ll be is a lifetime(?) memory for somebody.

Strange, but sometimes I wonder why we humans are given so many emotions.Sometimes, what feels a blessing starts bothering us. A point comes wherein the nostalgia and longing are equally paired with happiness and curiosity.


Doesn’t your journey through all this begin much before the actual start?A whirlwind of emotions and cherishing each day as it passes by, knowing this is the end to the ‘current’ and start to the unexplored.

Sunday, May 21, 2017

Swing along!

Looking back to the posts of 2016
I feel pity for my poor blog.
Once, a source of joy for people
Has now become a place to barf my complaints.
One year and how could I have let that happen?
Is it my life that has turned so or just the writing filter that is working so?
Nah Nah! I remember I had my deepest laugh just yesterday.
Life is not bad c’mon!
A few friends, family and flatmates,
Filling up my life with the much-needed delight.
I promise you my alter-self,
I would use you not just to let my frustration out.
But in the coming months, I promise I’ll hug you tight.
Not to cry but to let tears of joy.
All it needs is to think of the good times,
And hope for better ones.
Then why weight the shoulders down
Thinking about what isn’t?



2am thoughts!

It’s 2 am in the morning.
Once, the favorite time of my day.
Then, I used to enjoy every bit of silence.
Now, the thoughts inside me seem to be louder than the silence outside.
“20’s are meant to be wobbly”-is what I hear people say.
A conversation with a dear colleague makes such thoughts sway.
“Everybody is sailing in the same boat”
What frightened some years back, now soothe the inside.
Yet, things do not seem convincing enough.
The thought that everything will fall in place is something I cannot fathom.
Always taught to fight to get what you want,
Now ask me to alter my direction.
“That’s not what you want” is the ultimate struggle between the brain and the heart.
Every day of my life goes in weighing the opportunity costs.
Should I meet my deadline or go out and enjoy.
“This time is never going to come back again”
Is the argument put forth by both.
Every day of the life goes in motivating myself a hundred times.
That the company should not be a deeper influence is what I learn.
You know what the struggle of an introvert inside but an extrovert outside is?
That people believe there is nothing hidden inside.
Yet this heart struggles to find a soul,
To which it can let its deepest fears out.

How beautiful it would be to just sail along?
How beautiful it would be to reach an undestined land,
More beautiful and greener than thought?
How about just letting go of the what-if thoughts?




Sunday, March 12, 2017

Unique Pre-Birthday Nervousness

I’m usually a happy go lucky kid adult. Okay...A kid in the body of an adult.Kid, because even though I’m turning 24 tomorrow, I’m hell excited for my birthday, which is how it is usually. But I also feel like an adult. I’ve been pronouncing 24 all day long and thinking that the number is a magic number which automatically produces the feeling of being a grown up!Plus,t here’s nobody in my friend circle who’s older than me, who could empathize with this feeling that’s shouldering me since last two days. Other than the fact that I’ll have to now make poor chrome remember a new age for the autofill form feature, I don’t actually see why I should be worried about the +1.

Image result for attitude girl clipartI do not picture myself stop laughing and go and help when somebody would fall in anytime near future. Neither am I going to start sharing chocolates. So yes,as you might have understood, I’m just forcing my neurons to fire these feelings as an imprint on my brain.Plus, I’ve to get smart enough to find new excuses and answers to the most famous Indian question,"24, so when are you going to get married?". All lame ones of course.Because what I’ve found is logical answers are hardly ever accepted.

My plans when an agony aunty pops up such a question:
“Why?Do you have a son?Why don’t you give me his number”
“Why? Haven’t shopped since days or just want to savor some dishes?”
“When is –her kid’s name—getting married?”

See..I’m quite prepared to handle 24.Am I not?


C’mon now! Relax and sit back Pooja! It’s your day! 

Sunday, February 12, 2017

Longing

‘Hi again!’ said the wave to the shore.
What seemed to be a routine ,
soon turned out to be a longing.
The wave would bring to the shore-
all the stories of the sea.
And the shore would happily share with the wave-
the shells it collected all day long.
What seemed as a bond to the shore
was illusioned as an eternity for the wave.
Nobody’s fault it was.
For eternity does develop from a bond.
But the wave was naïve enough to not to know
that someday it has to pave another way.
The shore sometimes felt guilty
thinking it should have distanced itself firstly.
The shore and the wave couldn’t ever be the same again.
One was soaked in guilt, the other dried up in betrayal.

 #MoviesMakeMeCry!


Friday, January 13, 2017

#MadeMeSmile 1

This post is the first in the series of the posts titled #MadeMeSmile. Weekly posts describing an event or a set of events that made me smile or be thankful for.

1st of January,2017, a friend of mine forwarded me this image.


Not an empty jar and notes, but a blog post every week would at least make me feel beautiful about my life and get me back on my blogging routine.
The first week of January went smooth enough.

1st of January,I visited an orphanage for the first time in my life.I had always wanted to go,but either life got a little busy or I got skilled enough to make excuses that everytime I thought of going, I couldn’t. I took a cake and spent an hour or so with the kids there. Saw diversity in them. That was also the first time I dared to go alone on a two-wheeler in this city.Of course, I could have booked a cab and gone,but new year should also be the year when I get rid of my fears and insecurities.Directions are a paranoia for me.They just scare the shit out of me.But I trusted my GPS and went out for a ride of a lifetime.Almost 20km on bike, with GPS enabled phone handy enough to check every 5 min and people who come to rescue when asked directions was all I had.A good feeling at the end of the day,I must say!

My parents paid me a visit for four days and the main purpose of their visit would shock you as much as it shocked my friends. I have trouble shopping. I can make light purchases but when it comes to spending beyond a certain amount, I need either sister or mom.I had to buy a silk saree and I had roamed almost every place with my flatmates here but to no avail.

So finally supermom came to my rescue and we went to Secunderabad for a hopeful purchase.

Sadly, Uber and Ola were on a surge that day and knowing that the local trains are pretty decent here in Hyderabad, we decided to board a MMTS.

In the train, I saw what saddens me the most. A cute little kid holding a musical instrument and begging. Behind her came her mother carrying a toddler. I don’t usually prefer giving money as alms to beggars until and unless there’s no other form of help I can offer. But at that moment, I had ‘Murukku’,an Indian snack in my bag.I offered one to that little girl who came to me begging.She took it without any hesitation and smiled at me.She wouldn’t be more than 6 years old.What she did next,is something that touched my heart profoundly.She, without a second thought, offered that single piece to her little brother whom her mother was carrying. I was at loss of any thoughts or words. At the age of 6,I only remember snatching things from my sister or maybe crying and weeping to get something. This amount of benevolence, I could neither have never had nor can have.
Seeing that, I took out one more from my bag and offered it to the little girl. She took that happily and went away.That left me thinking that the snack item was something she would have never had.And in spite of that how generous enough it was of her to not even take a bite and give it all to her brother.

As it is rightly said,’Being rich at heart makes you wealthy beyond compare’.The incident left me feel poorer.



Sunday, December 25, 2016

2016-A year of disappointment

A while ago, I was reading an article on The Atlantic, titled,'2016-On blaming a year for the things that happened in it. The article described a series of mishappenings in the year we’re soon going to bid goodbye to. Stating the demise of boxing legend Muhammad Ali and the singer Prince, the doomsday that was November 8,2016 with Trump emerging as the leader of the world superpower, the deplorable state of human form that Aleppo is currently now in, the Brexit and several such events which we never had imagined or asked for.

Much like what 2016 was for the majority of the globe, personally too, it hadn’t been a satisfying year.Probably for the first time I say this, or rather blame a year, in my life. Of course,there are things and people in my life for which I’m very thankful for but I had to struggle a lot to get something and for the most attempts, I did not even meet the end result. Disappointing, I must say.

Nothing has ever been easy to acquire in my life. Everything I am is a result of hard work. Good thing because I never learnt to leave anything to my so called luck-if such a thing even exists. And I had always loved toiling and then tasting success. That’s what used to restore my faith in self. But 2016 turned the tables down. My belief in diligence seems to be shattered as of now. That was one thing I believed shall never betray me, but it did. Not once but many a times. Whatever I attempted this year, hasn’t savored success.

It seems silly to blame a year for the things that didn’t turn out to be in my favour. But then I don’t know whom else to blame. At least this way, as The Atlantic puts it forth, I can hope for a benevolent 2017.

2016, no matter how harsh you were to me and no matter how many times I had to fight to get what I deserved, I shall always be grateful to you. For all the bittersweet moments, for all the lessons. At this state, I don’t know how to get up and fight back-shattered I am, a bit, but I’m sure 2017 will teach me that too!

J